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How to handle Squabbling Sibblings

Google pictures courtesy

Here are some pointers on how to handle sibling fights:

  • Do not get involved too quickly. Whenever your sons approach you to complain about one another, listen but do not comment. Stay out of the fight and let them deal with it on their own.
  • Do not ask who started it out first or who is at fault. When the brothers fight with one another, hold both children accountable for their actions. If you try to prove that one child is to be blamed, you will make your children more resentful on one another. You will be accused of playing favourites.
  • Do not tell your children that they are grown up and should know better than to fight with one another. Accept that your boys will have differences of opinion and different ways of doing things. If they cannot get along, they can at least try not to interfere with each other activities.
  • Do not declare openly that you can no longer tolerate their behaviour.They may even fight more, realising that their negative behaviour can affect you.
  • Do not feel guilty or take a blame for your son’s fights because you are alone and holding a full-time job.You will be able to handle the sibbling conflicts better when you are confident that you are doing the best you can.
  • Do not lecture your children on fairness or the importance of keeping harmony in the family. You need to help each child find outlets for his emotions rather than fighting with his brother.
  • Do not try to justify that you don’t play favourites.If your eldest son complains that you are not being fair,listen to him and help him work out ways on how everyone in the family can get along with one another.

Hanz’s Note : Thank you so much to Ms Ruth Liew for sharing this great tips in Childwise.

October 2, 2009 - Posted by | Parenting in General


  1. Kadang-kadang susah nak elak bende camnie.. kalau gaduh saja tak pe tapi kalu dah start wrestling kene interfere juga.. Me, kalau depa gaduh both grounded, kalau play the things that they quarrel about..I will put away that things.Alhamdulilah skang nie dah kurang skit..

    Comment by nadnye | October 2, 2009 | Reply

  2. kene take note ni!!

    Comment by Elyn | October 2, 2009 | Reply

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